I recommend Dave Ramsey to start

I recommend Dave Ramsey to start. I wonder(If it’s not to personal) whose in charge of paying the monthly bills.Trust me It’s easier to avoid the issues as it seems your husband is doing.I did the same thing and sometimes still do. It has taken alot of inner strenth to face my debt and let my SO take charge of the bills and submitting to a portion of my monthly income to go into his account. Keep your head up and be strong…

Also, check at your local library for his and other financial books/workbooks.Good luck

Many thanks for the responses to my posting….. My husband handles the household expenses. Right now I am a SAHM…two small children one of whom is disabled (autistic/nonverbal). I think I may have found a used copy of one of Ramsay’s books on half.com that I can afford.

Money issues have been the sole contentious part of our being together. I’ve been pressing for a budget for years and get nowhere (it’s the same with asking him to go to the Dr./Dentist for checkups). Frankly, I would be happy to live a very simple life, cut out all non-essentials, in order that our future might be more hopeful.


If you have separate money that is yours

If you have separate money that is yours from before you were married, always keep it separate. Above all, do NOT comingle the funds. If you keep them completely separate, then if you should ever divorce, he cannot claim a part of it and you could, for example, will it to your children or whomever you choose. You should read what the laws are in your state, or ask an attorney. Perhaps there is a hot-line or low-cost legal clinics in your area.

My ex-husband was always trying to get me to go into debt so he could get a new expensive toy, usually another car (every 6 months!). This was back in the days that both husband and wife had to sign for any debt. I got divorced and many years have passed. After my daughter’s graduation from college this past Spring (which he paid not a penny for), we went out to dinner with he and his 3rd wife. He never learned. He had recently borrowed $40K from his 3rd wife’s inheritance money to put as a down payment on a new motorhome which cost $100K. And was proud to talk about it. She looked humiliated.

I’m just saying that if you give in to your husband’s desire for your money, he will never learn and it could be this way your whole marriage. And if you give him money, then he will not see you as a wife, but as a mother. Not too much romance in that. It is my opinion that you should say ‘no’ and stick by your guns. You don’t have to say it with an unkind tone. But you need to say it and stick to your word so he will respect you. The better option for him is getting a cash loan from ErgLoans.com here – instead of borrowing money from you, his wife. It will make him more diligent financially.

Oh, another thing. Real estate prices are dropping in many areas. If you buy a house and turn around and mortgage it, if the prices continue to drop you will be in big trouble with that as well. You could lose it all.

See if he will let you take care of his money and then you can give him an allowance. If he’s coming to you to fix things, then you can fix it by helping him with a budget.

Money Management International & also any good financial books?

Hello, I’ve been lurking for the past couple of weeks.

My husband has credit debt (in his name only). Recently, he tells me that it has been becoming ever more unmanageable due to the fact that his minimums were doubled. (They’re telephoning now….)

Anyhow, awhile back, I called a bunch of numbers trying to find out about debt consolidation companies, how they work, et cetera. I came across the name “Money Management International” in a Consumer’s Handbook put out by a U.S. Government office so I figure they are probably reputable.

What I wonder is, have any of you ever worked with this company? He has called them but has yet to sit down with them or do a telephone interview/conference. It seems to me like he is avoiding the whole matter. He leaves really early for work so I am the one getting all these telephone calls at home and, I don’t know, they sound so polite but kind of nasty underneath, you know. I’ve stopped answering the telephone, screen all the calls.

It sort of irritates me, a little, since the last time a similar (but different) issue arose (our neighbors / management agent for the co- op we rented in) basically harrassed us/hounded us out of our apartment after we disclosed that our older son is autistic (6 and non-verbal). Banging on the door, leaning on the doorbell, threatening to sue us, glaring at us in the common areas of the building….and always when my husband was at work….and his attitude was, well, deal with it (didn’t understand how completely physically and psychologically ill the whole matter made me – I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, got very depressed and anxious).

So, I guess I feel like (again) I’m on the receiving end of the harrassment but I haven’t done a blessed thing to deserve it. I’ve been asking my husband (for seven years) to sit down with me and write out a budget, to live within our means, to plan for the future (because, to be really frank, it depresses me to think that our futures….mine and his and our boys….are truncated on account of this debt problem…..especially after I paid off 40K worth of the debt 1 year after we were married….and still, he resists my input (but would be quite happy if I would bail him out again…..his last idea was for me to put down money on a house so that he could borrow against it…).

Also….can anyone recommend a good book to help guide my husband to get back on track financially? Something simple and reasonably inexpensive, not a bunch of tapes or CDs or something we have to join.

Sorry this got so long…..

Another way to make extra money

This may not be for everyone, but my brother and myself had some luck. Research studies. Yes, you become a human lab rat. But if you are relatively healthy, mostly for “non-smokers” and have the time, it’s been pretty profitable.

We live in San Antonio, Texas and I had heard somewhere that we are #4 for areas that cause the most “allergy” problems.

Well we both did studies for “dust mites”, but his consisted of 3 weekend overnight studies with investigational drug usage and mine was strictly outpatient. We both had very extensive health check ups (blood work, EKG, even eye exams) and the rest of the appointments were drug distribution and interviews on how we were doing.

I’m still in the beginning of mine, but for 3 appts (check-up, blood work and eye exam) I brought home $150 yesterday (over 1 month time). I’m still expecting to bright home another $250 in the next 2 months.

Now my brother has completed his 3 month study (spending the night Fri-Sat one time a month) and has received his check for $3200 (after taxes). The other great thing for him, his allergy to “dust-mites” has gone away…he obviously had a good result on the medication. He works full time, but needed some extra money for his snowball.

So just to get that out there. The company we used was CEDRA. Not sure of the website, but we found the ad in the classifieds.

BTW…More Craigslist success stories tied into my $150 check… I picked up a futon couch ($30), computer desk for kids ($15), chair for desk ($5), drafting table w/chair ($15), wooden TV stand ($10), and loveseat (free…desperate seller failed to sell with price listed had to leave it out on the street for “free” pick-up when new furniture arrived). $70 + past purchases = $195 in 1 month to furnish new rental we moved into with only our bed, kitchen table, TV’s, computers, and sleeping bags my DD’s sleeped in while we were staying with family. I’m excited and hooked!!!

Deceased Person Income Tax

I know there are a couple of CPA’s on this board and I am hoping someone who knows can answer. If an elderly person who has not been required to file because they live off Social Security & VA dies, is the Estate still required to file one?

I believe you have to file a return just to let the IRS know that the person has died. Also, write a letter to Social Security and the VA, include any money they sent to the deceased (get a new cashier’s check from the bank) and send them written notification that the person has died. Send the letters certified mail with a signature required.
If they keep sending the checks after the person dies, when they discover the error (paying a dead person), they will write and demand the money IMMEDIATELY.

I had a different experience with Social Security. The mortuary notified SS of my mother’s death. I went to the office (not knowing this) as I was in the neighborhood and they essentially told me there was nothing I needed to do. I will have to file a final return for my mom, though, as she was doing substitute teaching.

This past year and a half I have been working almost fulltime

I am very poor. This past year and a half I have been working almost fulltime. I took $500 and invested it in a Roth IRA as a retirement cushion. I picked the Roth because you don’t pay taxes when you retire and withdraw from it. It’s like a savings account, just feed it and it keeps growing. With regular IRAs you pay taxes when you withdraw from it at retirement. And if you withdraw before your retirement age, you have to pay taxes and a penalty.

I recommend doing some reading on personal finance management. My favorite book is Suze Orman’s The Road to Wealth: Everything you need to know in Good and Bad Time. It’s full of definitions and explanations related to personal finances. She also has a website www.suzeorman.com and a TV show on Sat night CNN. I think she is also on TV. I would say go to your nearest library and see what they have.

I also went for a third option. Decided how much I’d invest each month then split it in half. Half gets invested for my retirement and half goes toward bills. I get to see my debts slowly go down while my savings is going up. Maybe not as fast as it would if I just did one but this way I’m able to save and chip away at my debts.

Also, do you have a bank or credit union? Many of them offer investment planning. Lots of times just going in to discuss whether or not this is for you or which plan is right for you is free. Roth IRAs have an income limit but I don’t know what that is. As usual, there’s one limit for singles and a higher one for married folks. You could also go to davidbach.com which is a really interesting website put together by David Bach, author of the finish rich books. It’s free to join then you can get lots of information including the sorts of questions to ask before you choose an investment professional. You want someone you feel comfortable with since he/she will be handling your hard earned money.

Investing question

My bf finally got a pretty good job, it’s a temp at this point but has the potential to go full time. I am working full time and we are FINALLY starting to get some of our debt paid off. We want to take advantage of the money coming in to invest some of it, but I know NOTHING about investing. I’ve heard IRA’s are good when you’re young (we are 25). Could anyone offer any advice or point us in a direction where I could do some research about this????

I always went to morningstar.com to get stock performance info, but if you’re still in debt, you might want to hold off investing, since you are still very young, and pay off your debt especially if it is at a high interest rate. That’s just my opinion. I am 38 and I stopped my contributions. My husband is 47 and we still contribute to his because he is older. Now, If his company or yours has a 401k and they match, that would be worth investing into up to the point of the match because that can usually be a 50% return on your money.

Like I said, that is only my opinion.

I work in real estate investment. I would highly recommend that you consider looking at potential rental properties. You would be amazed at the types of properties that are out there. If you do choose to look into real estate as investments I highly recommend that you stick to MSAs with a 200 or lower on the Risk Index with an affordability of around 110 or above. If you have any questions on how to locate a local investor that can give you advice or if you have any questions about what to ask a realtor let me know.

(And no, this is not a solitation for business, I have not included any of my contact info in this email. Im just here to answer questions so members dont get taken advantage of by their local investor community.)

Have you made sure that this is actually your debt?

Another thing have you made sure that this is actually your debt? You need to have it validated not verified but validated. A big tip never ever talk to a collection agency over the phone, always do communications through the mail so you have proof.

Clark Howard has an excellent example he calls the “Drop Dead Letter” on his web site. Also check with your police dept. I was being hounded by a bill collector at work and I don’t know what made me do it but I called the police dept. there and in that city (Phoenix) – at the time anyway, they would take my complaint as an assault. I told the bill collector that and the calls stopped. I won’t even talk to irs on the phone.

I found some info online that says a cease and desist letter may not be effective if the debt is being collected by the original lender. My debts have not been sent to a collection agency as of yet. I’m still currently dealing with calls from the actual lender(credit card companies). Does anyone know if a cease and desist letter will do any good in sending to my credit card companies or does it only work with collection agencies?

You can still write a cease and desist but as I said make it limited. I dont know if this is still within Statues of limitation but I am assuming it is so you dont want to make it a total one since they will be more liable to sue. Never ever call, just write them a letter saying you want them to only contact you through postal mail.

Something simple without getting them upset:-)Unless you are trying to work out a agreement with them. It is easier to deal with the orginal holder if you intend to do that. However make sure they know to contact you at your home number if that is your intent then.

I put this together from different letters I found online. Does it sound too harsh or do you see any changes I should make with it. I do want to still get communication by mail so I know if they are taking any action against me. I have heard that these letters can sometimes make the creditor mad and then decide to take action. Is that true or is that mainly when you cut off all contact? Yes, it’s still within the statute of limitations.